Do i have fear for exams?
Yes, apparently i do.
I do panic. I do fear of taking exams. I fear studying for exams. I fear for people testing my depth of knowledge. I fear for my competency being tested. I fear of challenges.
I find my self not feeling the pressure to study or anxiousness of studying the few days before exams like my peers. Hence, reading half heartedly and slept a lot. Sleeping has always been a cure for everything for me.
Up or down,
Cloudy or Shiny,
Weepy or ecstatic,
Scared or brave,
I slept and slept.
A true sleeping beauty.
I never bothered to mind being left behind by my peers.I always think that it is my nature to be independent. Never to rely on others on petty mistakes and failures. I always blame my self to whatsoever bad things that happened to me for i do think that as humans, God gave us Choices and Wills which differentiates us from other living creatures. When bad thing happened, i hate to blame God or Fate or pointing fingers. I rather think and feel guilty for the consequences of my bad choices or for having the lack of will to do something.
Bad choices and Lack of will.
These two has been the major factor that downgrade my capability to embrace good natured things.
Fear of passing to a newer stage.
Fear of acquiring a tight relationship.
Fear to love.
Fear which leads to bad choices of pursuing dreams and passions.
Fear which leads to bad commitment of relationships.
Fear which leads to failure to love my family,friends, Islam, Allah and eventually my own self.
The heart which controls all emotions harbouring fears hampers the ability of soul to have a strong will.
The soul weakened by fear, tries to escape from reality and its vessels to a dreamland.
The dreamland alters and blunts owns perceptions into a cloudy mind and soul.
But, the soul could only stay in the lost world only for some time before, the body forcefully takes back the soul and heart to the reality. Ripping the mind and soul from endless fantasy into a world filled with realistic desires, dreams, hopes, and love.
Am i able to be better than this?
Or just be satisfied with a plateau of will and determination?
Be static and the same till death do soul and body apart?
Come on!!!
You are better than this!
p/s: study week stat dah... 1 month and 15 days to go...
Yes, apparently i do.
I do panic. I do fear of taking exams. I fear studying for exams. I fear for people testing my depth of knowledge. I fear for my competency being tested. I fear of challenges.
I find my self not feeling the pressure to study or anxiousness of studying the few days before exams like my peers. Hence, reading half heartedly and slept a lot. Sleeping has always been a cure for everything for me.
Up or down,
Cloudy or Shiny,
Weepy or ecstatic,
Scared or brave,
I slept and slept.
A true sleeping beauty.
I never bothered to mind being left behind by my peers.I always think that it is my nature to be independent. Never to rely on others on petty mistakes and failures. I always blame my self to whatsoever bad things that happened to me for i do think that as humans, God gave us Choices and Wills which differentiates us from other living creatures. When bad thing happened, i hate to blame God or Fate or pointing fingers. I rather think and feel guilty for the consequences of my bad choices or for having the lack of will to do something.
Bad choices and Lack of will.
These two has been the major factor that downgrade my capability to embrace good natured things.
Fear of passing to a newer stage.
Fear of acquiring a tight relationship.
Fear to love.
Fear which leads to bad choices of pursuing dreams and passions.
Fear which leads to bad commitment of relationships.
Fear which leads to failure to love my family,friends, Islam, Allah and eventually my own self.
The heart which controls all emotions harbouring fears hampers the ability of soul to have a strong will.
The soul weakened by fear, tries to escape from reality and its vessels to a dreamland.
The dreamland alters and blunts owns perceptions into a cloudy mind and soul.
But, the soul could only stay in the lost world only for some time before, the body forcefully takes back the soul and heart to the reality. Ripping the mind and soul from endless fantasy into a world filled with realistic desires, dreams, hopes, and love.
Am i able to be better than this?
Or just be satisfied with a plateau of will and determination?
Be static and the same till death do soul and body apart?
Come on!!!
You are better than this!
p/s: study week stat dah... 1 month and 15 days to go...
